英文笑话大全？能笑死人的100条英文笑话如下：1、Does He Bite.Reggie:We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play withhim?Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?Reggie: That's what I want to find out.里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗？罗恩：嗯，那么，英文笑话大全？一起来了解一下吧。
民间笑话故事像神话小说等民间文学一样，是广大劳动人民在长期的生产劳动和与自然界作斗争的过程中，以口头形式创作和传承的文学体裁。我精心收集了有关经典英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
有关经典英文小笑话：Women's Bumper-Stickers
SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.
MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,
SEEKS FROG.
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN...SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN-AND I HAVE A GUN.
GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?
NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.
IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.
DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
有关经典英文小笑话：Labor Pills
Once a woman was in labor; she was having a really tough time dealing with the pain. The doctor came to her hu *** and and her and told them of a new experimental drug that allows the woman to transfer 25% of the pain to the father. The hu *** and feels really bad for his wife so he decides they will try it.
The wife takes the pill and a few minutes later the hu *** and says, "I don't feel a thing. You women are babies. Take another pill I can handle this." So the wife takes another pill. Same thing happens. Her hu *** and tells her to take another pill. Same thing. By now she has transferred 75% of her pain to her hu *** and. She is feeling a little pain but her hu *** and is still feeling nothing. He is convinced that women are plete wuses. He tells her, "Take another pill. This isn't hurting me at all. Let me take all the pain away." So she does. Now they are both feeling great.
A few hours later, the wife gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. The next day they take their newborn son home, and there they find the mailman dead on the doorstep.
有关经典英文小笑话：Fishing Experience
A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The hu *** and liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the hu *** and came back from fishing after getting up really early that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out.
She was not familiar with the lake, so she rowed out and anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along es the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside the woman's boat and asks her what she's doing?
She says, "Reading my book." The Game Warden tells her she is in a restricted fishing area and she explains that she's not fishing.
To which he replied, "But you have all this equipment. I will have to take you in and write you up!"
Angry that the warden was being so unreasonable, the lady told the warden, "If you do that, I will charge you with rape."
The warden, shocked by her statement, replied, "But I didn't even touch you."
To which the lady replied, "Yeah, but you have all the equipment!"
有关经典英文小笑话：Medical Orders
A woman acpanied her hu *** and to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your hu *** and is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your hu *** and will surely die."
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him anutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your hu *** and several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your hu *** and will regain his health pletely."
On the way home, the hu *** and asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
有关经典英文小笑话：Mortician In Shock
A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated.
As he examined the body of Bernie Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery:
Bernie Schwartz had the longest penis he had ever seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."
And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong.
The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home.
The first person he showed was his wife.
"I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase.
"Oh my god!" she screamed, "Bernie Schwartz is dead!"
以下是几个搞笑一点的英文笑话及其中文翻译：
笑话一
英文原文：My wife and her friend were out to lunch when the temperature drastically dropped. They stood by her friend’s truck, shivering, while the friend searched for a key to unlock the door. My wife asked, “Can’t we sit in the truck while you find your keys?”
中文翻译：我老婆和她朋友出去吃午餐时，气温骤降。她们站在朋友的车旁冻得瑟瑟发抖，而朋友正在找车钥匙。我老婆问：“你找钥匙的时候，我们不能坐在车里等吗？”
笑话二
英文原文：Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything!
中文翻译：为什么科学家不信任原子？因为它们构成了万物！
笑话三
英文原文：I used to play piano by ear when I was younger. Now, I just play it by sms.
中文翻译：我小时候都是凭耳朵听音来弹钢琴的。
以下是国外10组英文冷笑话精选，附中文解释：
All my plans for the future start with "When I get rich".
解释：对于未来的所有打算都是从“什么时候脱贫”开始。这句话以一种幽默的方式表达了很多人对未来计划的共同起点——先变得富有。
Smile and let the whole world wonder why.
解释：别人笑我太疯癫，我笑别人看不穿。这句话以一种自嘲和自信的方式表达了与众不同的人生态度。
I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 73 of them.
解释：有99个难题，钱至少可以解决掉73个。这句话以一种夸张的方式表达了金钱在解决问题上的重要性。
What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.
解释：蜜蜂如何处理自己的蜂蜜？储存在蜂巢里。
经典英文笑话大全
经典英文笑话大全一：
A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.
一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.
“我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.
“你的右边耳朵听得见吗?”法官问道。那人点了点头。"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."
“你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。”
经典英文笑话大全二：
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境，哨兵迎了上去。
能笑死人的100条英文笑话如下：
1、Does He Bite.
Reggie:We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play withhim?
Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
Reggie: That's what I want to find out.
里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗？
罗恩：嗯，我不知道一它咬人吗？
里基：这正是我想要查明的。
2、Two Pieces of Cake.
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly----take this piece and cut it two!
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈：当然可以拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！
3、 Not too Bad.
Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?"
"No, but I am encouraged," he replied."Somebody stole one."
“你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗？”
“没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，”他回答说，“有人偷走了一幅。
以上就是英文笑话大全的全部内容，以下是国外10组英文冷笑话精选，附中文解释：All my plans for the future start with "When I get rich".解释：对于未来的所有打算都是从“什么时候脱贫”开始。这句话以一种幽默的方式表达了很多人对未来计划的共同起点——先变得富有。内容来源于互联网，信息真伪需自行辨别。如有侵权请联系删除。
